maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
