it's too hot outside to masturbate.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
