I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
