Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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