She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Shame - the story of my life.
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