I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm having to shit out rocks
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
