First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
