I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
