Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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