Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
