I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
