Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
