k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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