Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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