You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
