i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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