it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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