I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
