When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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