There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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