nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
