Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
