He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
