Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
