I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
