I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
