your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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