Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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