I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
