**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
