Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
