Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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