I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
