Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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