a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
