Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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