Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize