dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize