honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize