I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
