PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
