So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
