And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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