Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
