worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
