There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
