I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
