She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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