I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
