i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
that is very illegal...i love you.
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