Can i not drive my cunt home
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
