Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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