So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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