She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we're making bets on your personal life
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
