OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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