ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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