She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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