I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
